I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I have post one night stand depression
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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