She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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