he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
