i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
