The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
