oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
