shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
