I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
