Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize