Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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