I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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