are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
