If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
