I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
