Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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