All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize