What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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