FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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