If i come over, it means nothing
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
