so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
