I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
