You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
There are leaves in my underwear?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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