What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
