After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
