she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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