She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize