Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
