420 ftw
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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