no you cant smoke seaweed
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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