I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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