you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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