All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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