put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
why is half of my head shaved?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
