I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
