Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize