i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
