Soap is not a condiment
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
