I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Randomize
