I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
