I heard we made out
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
