So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
