I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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