Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize