I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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