omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
