i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
