I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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