i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Randomize
