He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
