i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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