Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
