if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
