just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
