Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
