I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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