Your mouth is God's brothel.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
