also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
do nipples grow back?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
