hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
