Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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