there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
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