You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
BRING THE BAGELS
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
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