glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
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