Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
