Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Still dying that you shit outside
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
