There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
