He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Randomize
