Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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