You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
