Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
