i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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