Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
