It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
