you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
