oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Randomize
