very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
pop tarts are not kleenex
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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