omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
