loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
