I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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