We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
You have to summon your inner elephant
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize